How to Decline a Request for a Reference

Business people talking in office

What can you do if you are asked to write a recommendation letter or to provide a reference for someone you don't want to recommend? Perhaps you have been unimpressed with the person’s job skills, teamwork, or work ethic. Perhaps you simply don’t know them well enough to describe their work performance effectively.

In any case, it's better to turn down the request than to endorse someone if you're not comfortable providing the recommendation.

You Have the Right to Decline a Reference Request

There is never an obligation to give someone a reference. You can politely and diplomatically decline the request without offending the person who asked you. The trick is to do so without making your refusal sound like a personal criticism or a professional rejection.

Here are two examples:

What to Say If You Don't Know the Person Well: "I am sorry, but I do not feel I know you well enough (or have not worked with you long enough) to provide you with an accurate and thorough recommendation."

What to Say If You Do Know the Person: "I do not feel I would be the best person to write you a recommendation," and perhaps provide a suggestion for another person to ask.

Tips for Declining a Reference Request

Here are tips for how to say no in a professional manner:

When Company Policies Ban Reference Letters

A growing tendency is for companies to establish policies that limit the granting of references and recommendations. These no-reference policies were developed because of the many cases where employees have sued an employer for providing them with a negative reference. Check with your organization's Human Resources department to determine if such a policy is in place.

What to say: "The company does not permit me to provide any references. I would only be able to confirm your job title, employment dates, and salary history. So it would be in your best interest to find someone else to provide a reference."

Samples of Recommendation Request Rejection Letters

These sample letters and email messages are models to decline the request. As always, tailor them to fit your situation:

Example #1

Elizabeth Waters
2022 Commerce Street, Ste. 3
Oceanside, MA 02190
555-765-4321
ewaters@email.com

Joe Smith
37 Chestnut Street, Apartment B
Birmingham, MA 02192

I am glad to hear you are interested in a job in the publishing industry. I do not feel that I worked with you long enough to write you an accurate reference letter for your job search.

However, if you have any questions about job searching in the publishing industry, I would be happy to answer them.

Signature (hard copy letter)

Example #2

Daniel Bruno
34 Oak Street
Ocean View, NY 11732
555-123-4567
me@danielbruno.com

Terry Johnson
12 Main Street, Apt. 3
Ocean View, NY 11732

Dear Ms. Johnson,

I am pleased to hear that you are applying for a sales position with XYZ Company. Unfortunately, since I haven’t had the opportunity to observe your work in this field, I would be unable to offer the strength of endorsement that one of your closer colleagues could.

Best of luck in your new endeavor.

Signature (hard copy letter)

Example #3

Nancy Wallis
15 Coastal Ave.
Los Angeles, California 90001
555-987-6543
nancy.wallis@email.com

February 3, 2022

Joe Black
34 Sunny Way
Los Angeles, California 90001

I received your request for a letter of recommendation. I believe that you would be better served to utilize a reference who is more familiar with your coursework in a field related to the IT position at ABC Systems than I am.

I am happy to supply a general character reference, but I would not be able to speak directly to your qualifications for this position.

Signature (hard copy letter)

Key Takeaways

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  1. SHRM. "Follow Rules of the Road for Limited-Reference Policies."
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